Shoutlouder

Deal with the Bystander Effect

// August 29th, 2010 // No Comments » // Inspiration, Sunday, Thoughts

I’ve been reading a bit of a clever book by a Psychologist recently – thought I could do with a bit of brain food for a change – called 59 Seconds by Professor Richard Wiseman. I’ll review it properly eventually (if I can manage to understand it all) but a thought from it struck me as I read and has crept into my thinking lately as I consider how we move as a church from where we are now into a place of greater growth and increase.

Some psychologists somewhere with a little too much time on their hands have discovered an interesting human response (or lack of response) called the “bystander effect”. Whilst studying people’s willingness to act in various situations they discovered that people are less likely to get involved when part of a crowd. For example, someone walking down a street and dropping their groceries is less likely to have someone come to their aid on a busy street than when there might only be a couple of people passing. The reason… we are less likely to help in a crowd because we think someone else will do it! Hence rather than respond we become an unintentional bystander.

When I read that I thought FLIP! That means every time I preach a message to my congregation with a challenge for them to be a person of influence in their world, or to take time to serve someone, encourage someone, or reach out to their family and friends with the gospel of Christ – every time I’m looking for a response from a crowd then the majority of them are thinking, “someone else will do it!” I may as well be shouting at an empty street if what the Psycho’s are saying is true!

We can’t afford to have a bystander effect in our churches and even more so in our own lives! And yet it’s so true – how many times has someone challenged us and we’ve been moved to act… that is until our brain begins to conveniently abdicate responsibility to the friends who REALLY need to hear that word!

Listen up (if you’ve not already phased out to ‘bystander’ status) – the call of God for YOUR life is for YOUR life and not the person sat next to you in church. The opportunity for God to use YOU is an opportunity to use YOU and not the person sat in the third row and five seats in from the aisle.

Let’s deal with the ‘bystander’ in us and choose instead to respond to God’s call on our lives. Stop thinking He’s speaking to someone else and realise His attention is on you…. Yes that means You! (hello! Yes and you too!) and you!

Counting the days

// January 20th, 2010 // No Comments » // Inspiration, Thoughts

It seems 2010 has started with a lot of counting of days!

Last week I was counting the days as we fasted and prayed for breakthrough across Hope City. Then this week I’m conscious that we’re now already at Day #11 of our ’70 Days of You’ theme. It’s certainly making me think a lot about time and how much every day is such a big deal! It’s also making me think how fast time seems to flow past if we don’t give it enough thought!

This year I turn 34 years of age. My son turns 6. My daughter will turn 2. In September it will have been 5 full years since we took on our role pastoring the Leeds congregation of Hope City Church, 6 years since the congregation started out in the Radisson Hotel. It will also be 14 years that I’ve been married and 15 years that I’ve known the beautiful woman that I ended up marrying.

Time really does fly!

It feels like only yesterday that I was walking into school. It was just the other day that I was discovering a new and exciting church that was then called the Hope of Sheffield Christian Church. It seems just a blink of the eye since I first sat behind the wheel of a car and I could swear it was just the other week when I was saying goodbye to my parents as I left the family home for college – never to return to live there in full again.

Time doesn’t just fly – it zooms!

I can remember sitting at the top of a 600ft cliff enjoying a packed lunch whilst hiking in the Polish mountains with my wife. I can remember missing her dearly whilst on the other side of the world, riding at high speed across Darling Harbour in Sydney on a midnight speed cruise. There’s the memory of drinking iced coffee at the foot of the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpa and the moment that I walked out of the middle of nowhere to share the Gospel in a small village somewhere deep in the countryside of Zambia.

Time doesn’t stop for anything.

As time passes by in the next few months I’ll be tasting the sights of New York, walking the streets of Warsaw and celebrating more birthdays and anniversaries that I can remember. I’ll see the completion of yet more of our vision for the Megacentre in Leeds, be part of the fast expanding work of our multi-congregations and be privileged to see God do even more incredible things in the lives of those around me.

Time is on the move.

The only question is what are you doing with yours? Is timing passing by unnoticed or unheeded? Is time running away from you? Is time running out? Or is time your friend? Are you making the most of it? Are you counting the days and making every single one of them count? Today is Day#11 of ’70 Days of You’ – that means I’ve got 59 more days to look firmly in the mirror and make the changes that need to be made. Then when that’s done – there will be time for something new!

new years renovation

// January 6th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Family, Inspiration

It’s the start of a brand new year so Merry Christmas and a Happy 2010 to you!

My year kicked off to a fairly unusual start with a day spent in my bathroom. Thankfully it was not due to any need to deposit the contents of my stomach due to some new years swine bird bug. It was more happily due to the need to renovate my bathroom after putting up with a room that had last seen some care and attention before time began.

It felt quite therapeutic to be honest. Ripping out the old taps and ceramic furniture that had persistently screamed of some previous pre-Ikea life. (Check out the Twitpics down the sidebar). Although the fun soon ended as I found myself faced with 30 years of collective grime hidden under taps and down pipes. But soon that was all gone and in went the brand spanking new bathroom ware that brought an air of hygenic cleanliness that was almost next to godliness.

And so we start the new year with an almost-finished bathroom. Well… there’s still a few things I didn’t quite get done before the holidays ended and the usual work load reappeared. But… I’m determined to get things done by the end of the month.

The whole thing just sums up my year to be honest! I’m not too interested in Resolutions and more interested in a New Years Renovation! Time to rip out the old stuff and the old ways and build something fresh and new! It’s time to make some radical changes and really lift the lid on all that’s gone before. Time to live the best life yet!

hijacked?

// July 15th, 2009 // No Comments » // Inspiration, Thoughts

So I’m just coming to the end of a day off a long day working on my cellar renovations (trying to create some office and ‘cave’ space for me in the house) when I get a call to say someone’s broken into our Leeds Megacentre. So off I trudge down to Mega in my dust covered clothes with bits of plaster still hanging out my hair to discover that someone’s broken in and nicked a TV off Reception. Three hours later I’m heading home to find an email notifying me of a difficult pastoral situation that needs my attention. So after some prayer and a much needed cup of tea – I finally hit the sack just before 1am to rise at the crack of dawn to another message to say the burglars have been back for the other 2 TVs… so off I head once more to Mega – with much need for a coffee – to await a team from CSI:Yorkshire and spend the day liasing with builders and security firms trying to sort out the gaping hole that needs filling….

(whew)

There are sometimes days in our lives when everything that happens is completely beyond our control. It’s impossible to predict when Mr Thrifty will visit your place next… or when other people’s lives spiral out of control because of unforseen or consequential circumstances… or when disease or ill health will strike…

But I’ve learnt there are always things that you can control whatever comes your way and that is your mind, your heart, your focus, your spirit, your relationship with God… . I could have got stressed out and got frustrated so many times over the last 24 hours – but I chose to see most of it for what it is – skirmishes – and realise that God is still very much in control!

See it’s no coincidence that over the last few weeks we’ve launched a schools project, a food hamper project and we’re in the middle of launching a huge family support project that has God’s favour written all over it! We’ve also seen some great fruit in church and I believe we’re heading towards one of the most exciting and fruitful seasons ever in Hope City Church.

So – guess what – someone doesn’t like that! There’s a prowling lion who is circling and waiting to pick off and exploit any weakness that he might find to stop us from fulfilling what God has called us to. What’s important to remember is – as long as you stay in the heart of God and seek to do His will and follow His call – that lion will remain toothless. The most that he can hope to do is pick off a few LCD TVs….

As for me and my house – we’re serving God and getting ready – cause all the signs are pointing towards an amazing season of God’s growth and increase!

tough stuff

// March 28th, 2009 // No Comments » // Inspiration

One of those annoying ‘facts of life’ is simply that at times things get really tough! One minute you’re having a whale of a time and then next it feels like the whale just landed on you! One minute you were driving along quite happily, enjoying the fresh breeze of the ministry and good friendships and then all of sudden you’re stuck in a traffic jam with no possible exit for miles.

The point is that at some point or other you’re going to hit a wall called ‘hard’ or ‘impossible’ and you’ll be faced with two decisions: 1) stop and camp at it’s base deciding to spend the rest of your life at that level or 2) work out how to grow a few feet taller so you can climb over it!

It might seem a bit of a no-brainer to some but the truth is we often hit these walls and it doesn’t matter what we do or how much stretching we undergo the wall remains impassable!

I’ve found myself looking up at all kinds of walls. We had it as a family when my son was born and we discovered he would need a series of operations. I had it as a Pastor when suddenly I was faced with two families at war thanks to an adulterous affair. I’ve had it as a business owner when faced with the need for new clients and a stable income and I’ve had it as the head of a household when faced with balancing the budget and working out how on earth we are going to get through the next few months without resorting to eating cardboard.

What I’ve discovered through it all is that there are some walls which are only really called ‘difficult’ and ‘need-to-try-a-bit-harder’ and can easily be climbed over if you just get off your lazy backside and put in a little effort. But there are some walls which are just simply too big to deal with and it’s our mistake to try and tackle these on our own.

Too many people try to be Spiderman but they always end up being swatted back down by the scale of the task. Instead if you want to deal with the really hard things of life then the only way to become big enough to climb the wall is to let God get bigger instead!

Whatever we face in life we don’t face it alone and too often we limit God by bringing him down to our level. You’re doing life with the Creator of the Universe and yet when we hit a hard wall of ‘provision’ or ‘insecurity’ we get so fixated on dealing with the tough that we forget that his middle name is ‘tough’.

So next time you hit a wall that’s too high to scale – instead of trying to work out how YOU can climb it why not try looking to the one who’s already perched on the top waiting for you to reach up and ask for some help. We need to keep allowing God to become bigger in our world. After all He’s able to do ‘immeasureably more’ than all we can ask or imagine… so let’s give Him some place to grow!

(If you’ve got a Tall Wall Story then let me know and share how God grew in your understanding to enable you to get over it!)